Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Magnificent MLK Day!¹

So, I’ve been stuck this year coming up with a theme for the increasingly irrelevant Christmas letter. I’ve done by date, category, color, movie quotes, and song titles. Editor 2 wanted me to arrange it based on the boy band, “One Direction.² I’ve decided this year to do trivia questions!³

“What actor played the school principal in E.T. only to have his scene cut when Spielberg decided that his presence would be too distracting?”⁴

Julie decided the kids would have fun this summer being extras in one of the films being shot in Wilmington. Unfortunately for the kids, all the casting directors thought the most photogenic one in the family was Julie. They have now joined a support group with Rumer Willis, Alexa Joel, and Suri Cruise. Meanwhile, Julie is appearing as an extra in some productions including “We’re the Millers,”⁵ “Safe Haven,” and a few top secret ones. While her acting ambitions are limited to non-speaking roles, she does now understand the paranoid, irrational insanity of an actor waiting to hear if he got a role, and not wanting to see herself on film. Meanwhile, I took a non-paying gig at Big Dawg Theater with the lead in “God’s Favorite,” which essentially is the Book of Job as written by the guy who did the “Odd Couple.” It was the first time I had a part where I was older than the director. Which was fine until he looked at me at the read-through and said how he wanted everybody to bring their own LIFE EXPERIENCES with them to the show. Somehow to me he said LIFE EXPERIENCES like I was shooting down Zeros at Pearl Harbor. I will continue to look for good non-singing, non-dancing, non-rollerskating,⁶ roles in Wilmington next year.

“What 1990 championship sporting event attracted a TV audience of one billion people?”⁷

Ella went into training for Girls on the Run, a program though the school which would eventually see her running a 5k with some schoolmates. Julie encouraged her until she found out Ella needed an adult buddy to run with her. Then I had two girls in training. As part of their training, they ran in a race on Bald Head Island, and both did well, although Ella pulled a Charlie Brown and was heading the wrong way before Julie waved her down. I was ready to let her go, it’s an island, she couldn’t have gotten too far. The actual Girls on the Run race they eventually finished with a great time of 37:06 (51 out of 180 girls in Ella’s age group). And it has sparked in Ella a lifetime passion for putting off exercising.

Ella and Gavin continue their basketball and basketball/soccer careers respectively. Ella is doing well, with her major advantage her vertical upsidability.⁸ As a great American philosopher once said “You can’t teach height.” Gavin continues to enjoy soccer and even likes watching some Premier League games on TV and the local minor league team the Wilmington Hammerheads. I think he wants to play at an elite level one day, just because if he gets juice boxes and Pringles after every kid’s YMCA game, those guys must get awesome snacks at the end of their games!

“Cameron Diaz went to high school with what rapper at Long Beach Polytechnic School (Long Beach CA)?”⁹

I had my 25 year high school reunion this summer. I enjoy these mostly because my best imitations are Coach Tyre and Mr. G and the only place that is A list material is at these things. It was a lot like this letter. Catching up on events in people’s lives and telling the same jokes over and over.

“Sir Isaac Newton invented which device for his feline friends?”¹⁰

We continue to adjust to our cat Gigi. We should have named her Cato¹¹ as she enjoys lying in wait and then leaping on unsuspecting family members.¹² She also likes to play a game where she runs out of the house and everybody has to mobilize to get her back. Drives me nuts.¹³

“What year did color TVs outsell black and white TVs?”¹⁴

Ella is a broadcast director on her school’s closed-circuit television news show. Every morning, a team of 4th and 5th graders put on a show in the school’s broadcast studio with the news of the day, the weather, pledge of allegiance and some other segments. It combines her two loves: being silly and being in charge.

Gavin started Cub Scouts this year. Ella constantly makes fun of his neckerchief but Gavin is proud to sport it. After the leader said they would be camping, shooting BB guns, getting dirty, I don’t think there is anything Gavin wouldn’t wear.

“What is the origin of Wall Street’s name?”¹⁵

Julie and the kids took a spring break trip to NYC and CT. They went to Chinatown where Gavin had some Chinese ice cream. I don’t know what was in it, but it couldn’t have been weirder than the Watermelon yogurt, Sour Patch kids, Reeses pieces, Chocolate syrup and coconut concoction that he will put together at TCBY. Ella in turn got her fill of good Bagels and Pizza. They also went to the Central Park Zoo where Gavin decided to be a Sea Lion trainer.

Of course, a few months after that, the New York area was hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. I am the Chair of the American Red Cross, Cape Fear Chapter, and am proud that several of our volunteers were able to join the relief effort. Julie is also volunteering for the fundraising Gala, so fair warning, you may be hit up for a donation.

With that, I’ll bring the frivolity to a close, may all our family and friends have a great year and expect to read this letter again next January (or February, no promises).

With Love,

Bradley, Julie, Ella, Gavin and Gigi.

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1 See, the letter isn't late!^↩
2 Author: “You mean John, Paul, George and Ringo?”
Editor 2: “Dad, they aren’t the Beatles.”
Author: “You can say that again.” ^↩
3 Editor 1: “Oh great. Here goes ‘Mr. Encyclopedia.’”
Author: “You know, for our kids ‘What is an Encyclopedia?’ would be a good trivia question.”^↩
4 Harrison Ford^↩
5 Her complete text to me from the set. “In final scene with Jason, jen*, Emma and will. Hanging with will right now.”
*that is jen as in Jennifer Aniston. She is too cool to even capitalize the name.^↩
6 Thalian Association is doing “Xanadu” this year…^↩
7 The World Cup^↩
8 Copyright 2012 by Jay Bilas^↩
9 Snoop Dogg^↩
10 The swinging cat door.^↩
11 Editor 1: “Who is Cato?”
Author: “The guy from the ‘Pink Panther’ who kept jumping out at Inspector Clouseau.”
Editor 1: “Nobody will get that.”
Author: “I get it.”^↩
12 Editor 1: “She jumped on my head in a dark closet!”^↩
13 Editor 2: “Stop picking on Gigi!”
Author: “You always stick up for her.”^↩
14 1972^↩
15 There was a wall there! When the Dutch still controlled the region, Wall Street was the city limit and there was actually a wall there. The vaults 80 feet beneath the Federal Reserve Bank on Wall Street store more than 25% of the world’s gold bullion.^↩