2011 Christmas (New Year's) Letter

“It’s time,” she said.
The words I dread.
“The letter is late.
And it has to be great.
You have to top each year for wit.
A few bad rhymes will not do it.”

Thus ends the great poetry disaster of 2011. So let’s get back to our regularly scheduled,non-rhyming prose. Since our favorite movie this year was “The Muppets,” we’ll start each section with a little song.

"Moving Right Along"

The big family trip this year was to Disneyworld in January. The trip was given out on Christmas morning. Gavin was worried because one of his friends said one of the rides was scary and Ella was upset because she thought she would miss school. So after we told Gavin he didn’t have to ride on anything he didn’t want to, and promised Ella she would hardly miss any school, we finally got a reaction to put on a Disney commercial. Heading to Florida, we got in pretty late (or early depending on your point of view of what 1:45am is) since Julie was apparently operating on military time and assumed that a flight leaving at 8 o’clock was in the morning and not at night. Luckily somebody in the family[1] had discovered the difference between “am” and “pm” and although we lost half a day, at least we didn’t find out about it at the airport. I of course had been prepared for quite a while, but unfortunately the map I committed to memory in 1976 wasn’t quite up to date. Apparently, they bulldozed the 20,000 Leagues under the Sea ride about 15 years ago. Anyway, we had a great time and the only place where the staff was as nice is Vega$. (and thinking about it, probably for the same reason).

We also had a trip to the mountains of NC for a week this summer. 3200 feet about sea level[2] was quite a change from Wilmington. Tweetsie Railroad was one of the favorites and if you haven’t been in the last 25 years, the show hasn’t changed other than the cordless mics. The Indian on the train still freaked me out a little bit even though I was ready for it this time. We also went ziplining at Hawk’s Nest. First time for all of us and we all had a great time. It felt a lot safer than the chair lift at Tweetsie. We started on a canoe trip and got caught in a bad thunderstorm halfway through.[3] The kids then got instructed in the fine art of trespassing and hitchhiking. Ella, I know you are glad to be safe, but please don’t put the nice man in the Vulcan Death Grip. During the trip, Ella and I engaged in a read-off (as Gavin and Julie made “book nerd” jokes). Ella won, five books to four.

In the fall, Julie and I went back to the mountains to the Grove Park Inn where she went to the spa and I went to continuing legal education classes. I think we both fell asleep halfway through. Our room was next to one whose previous occupants were Barak Obama and Dean Smith. I'm guessing the no-smoking rule was relaxed for their visits.

"Its time to play the music/Its time to light the lights" [4]

Ella got on the broadcast team at her school. Every Thursday she either goes on the TV broadcast as the anchor or the weathergirl. Gavin (seeing her broadcast in his kindergarten class) gives us a critique of her performance every Thursday night at dinner.[5]

I did a Thalian production in March, “Around the World in 80 Days.” Had a great time but remind me never to work with an elephant again.[6] Gavin was very concerned over who had to clean up after him every night.

"C is for Cookie"

While Ella moved up to 4^th grade this year, Gavin started kindergarten. He got the same teacher that Ella had. He has told us that his special job in class is to help the other kids with the computers. He’s the world’s youngest IT guy. Once he learns to read better, I’m giving him a headset and signing him up for Microsoft tech support.

Gavin played pick-up soccer over the summer and then on a team at the Y. I’m not that familiar with the sport, so I’m just assuming that Gavin’s habit of doing a cartwheel after every goal is accepted practice.

Picking up from last year, Ella finished out her 1^st basketball season. Once the team figured out what a jump ball was and why that big, loud horn kept blowing they got better every game, beating the best team in the league on the last game of the season.

"Mahna Mahna"

Julie grew her hair out and then cut off 12 inches for "Locks of Love". I'm just glad I don't have to clean out the shower drains every week anymore. I think she was just trying to copy Ella.

"The Rainbow Connection"

This part is hard. We lost our cat Hobbes this year. She’s been around longer than this letter. I can’t really say anything funny here. If you like, you can do what I’ll do and read prior year letters for a good laugh with our old cat.

We did get a new pet, which more or less came the same way Hobbes did, my sister found the easiest mark in the house and dropped the cat off. The new cat is Gigi. She is a little more…active than we are used to and my “Dad” voice goes ignored.[7]

Those are pretty much the highlights of the year. I could write some more, but unless you want this to turn into an Independence Day letter, I'd better stop here. Signing off once again.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to our family and friends

--Bradley, Julie, Ella, Gavin and Gigi.

---

[1] Not me. I’d still be trying to figure out what the heck happened.

[2] 3210 feet for each kid, depending on which night which one slept on the top bunk in the bunk bed.

[3] Gavin: “Hmm. Dad, sometimes the rain is kinda nice.”

Ella: “I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I JUST WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!”*

*I think that Gavin paid attention in science. As long as he was the shortest guy in the lightning storm he felt good about his chances.†

†That’s right. I just footnoted a footnote. Don’t try this at home kids.

[4] Editor 2: "That is not the name of the song."

Author: "I know but nobody will get the joke if I just say "'The Muppet Show Theme.'"

Editor 2: "Then its not much of a joke."

[5] Typical comment: smile more.

[6]Editor 1: “It wasn’t a real elephant.”

Author: “I know. That’s why it’s a little joke.”

Editor 1: “So that’s what it was.”

[7] Which makes her the same as everybody else. I really need to work on the “Dad” voice.